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“Excuses I Have Already Used” by Antonia Clark

He hit me first. She called me four-eyes. The dog ate it. It’s not my turn. Everybody else is doing it. My alarm
didn’t go off. I didn’t know it was due. My grandmother died. It went through the wash. My roommate threw it
in the trash. He got me drunk. He said he loved me. He said he’d pull out in time. She pulled right out in front
of me. I didn’t know how you felt. I was only trying to help. He backed me into a corner. It just slipped out of
my hand. I was in a hurry. It was on sale. I needed a little pick-me-up. It calms my nerves. They looked too
good to resist. It sounded like such a good deal. Hospitals give me the creeps. He’s probably tired of visitors.
He didn’t even recognize me last time. There were extra expenses this month. My vote wouldn’t have counted
anyway. The kids were driving me nuts. I didn’t have time. My watch must have stopped. I couldn’t find the
instructions. The dishwasher’s broken. Somebody else used it last. I forgot my checkbook. I gave at the office.
I’ve got a headache. I’ve got my period. It’s too hot. I’m too tired. I had to work late. I got stuck in traffic. I
couldn’t get away. I couldn’t let them down. I didn’t know how to say no. We were thrown together by
circumstance. He made me feel like a woman again. I didn’t know what I was doing. It seemed like a good
idea at the time. I’ve been up to my eyeballs. The flight was delayed. The car broke down. My hard drive
crashed. I’ve got a call waiting. I’m flat out. Life is too short. It’s too late to go back.

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